Fathers and Sons
by Amanda Whitton


I don't have to be meditating alone on the clothes dryer for a big revelation to come. Smoetimes I get a pifany or two when I'm lying in bed at night, when I find myself plaged with an inteminable case of insomnia -- mom says that's a medical word for groin itchiness. You know, I'll be tossing, turning, writhing, and sudenly, it'll just happen. I'm sure it's hapened to everyone at some point, even if atheists deny it or call it a hallucinogen. Last night,, they were coming so fast and furious I couldn't even stay still...until one shook through me so hard it knocked me unconsious. I don't have the time to share all those with you, unfortunatey, but I want to tell you about the last one. I have no question in my mind that the reason I've been having so many pifanys lately is because Gid Has chosen me to speak through, chosem ME to bring His message to YOU, Denyers of the TRUTH, that is why he gave me the gift of well writing,.

I posted my thoughts here in the hope that you would be matrue enough to receive an opposing viewpoint with an open mind. But athiests are all so stupid and petty and deluded I should have known that was impossible. I cried when I read the hate-filled responses to my last post...I cried for all of you who are fooled by Satan, and who continue to sneak extra orgasms at the expense of yet unconceived fetusus. THat's potential life! SOme of you are just too rock-hearted or plain retorded to understann what I'm trying to save you sverall varstrily messages but not ONE without what only I can tell you takes CHANCE, not CHOICE -- the only way it canb be. I understnad that now. I was about to give up, when I realized that that was what Stan would want me tto do, for he is always trying to silence and distort the word of God. It is like God is the symphany and Satan in the man carrying on with his grilfriend in the audience so I can't look at the sumphiony but instead have to look at them. And Jesus ios the triangle at the end, the Rider of the Great Cross completing the trinity. It's no accident,people. It is very imporant that you DO NOT MISUSE WHAT I TELL YOU.

Misusiung the words of Jesus Chris can lead to disaster 9false branches of Christianity for example.) It happens in the physical world all the time. Rembmer a few years back when all those women douched with OK Soda and went sterile, and then Coke had to take it off the market? It's the same thing. They were intentionaly misusing a product, and it lead to some very dry wombs. They ignored the warning label. And now the millions of us that loved OK can't have any. So when you misuse Christ's words to spread hate or false ideas or whatever, you are ruining it for everybody. DO NOT DOUCHE WITH THE WORDS OF CHRIST! Anyway, during one of my pifanys, I had an idea that I think would work well here. I've seen it done before, and it's been rathere efective. Here, now I present you with a dialogue between an atheist dad and his six-year-old son. A dilogue is like two people talking to each other.

"Daddy, I can't sleep."

"Why not, son? DOn't you feel safe?"

"No daddy, I don't feel safe. I feel like no one loves me, like no one is looking out for me, and there will be nothing for me after I die."

"Well, grow up, son. That's the way it is. Christians are stupid. Only athiests are right because we don't believe in anything, no matter how obviously true it is."

"But dadd>, what if there is some t ruth to what my friendss are saying about Gid and Jesus and Satan? Would'nt it be logical to approach this issue from a rational, unbiased, un-jaded point of view, instead of dismissing it as a ubiquitous matter of discourse?"

"Christians are stupid son. We are atheists. Only we are right. And when you get bigger, you'll be able to hit and presecute Christians like I do."

"I know, daddy, I've seen you. But sometimes I wonder, is what you do always the right thing? Or are you just buying into the perceived mediated reality of what our atheistic society should be?"

"Now son...don't think, be an athiest instead. Of course what I do is right. I am going to sexually abuse you now because I decide what is right and wrong. I have no book of rules telling me how dto behave, so I am free to decide for myself. Take off your clothes."

"A-ha! Now I've cought you in a logical fallacy! You've said there's no such thing as right and wrong. How can there be if there's no god, no eternal life beyond? No heaven, no hell?"


"And what about AIDS?"

"Many types of people get aids."

"Heterosexuals too,."

"NOt just gay people, like you told me. But lots of people are getting it now. GOod Christians."

"I know, son. it's sad."

"I've got you again!," said the sun, "how can there be such a thing as good and bad without a God? What is good and bad is set fourth for us in the Blible."

"If there were no god, humans could not have emotions, becuase we wouldn't even knwo what thery are!"

"SOn, evolution flavores survival of the fittest. Un-fit people die. Now go watch Ellen, because she spits in God's face."

"No, dad. Ellen is evil. And Disney is evil for shoving her anti-family message down our throats."

"What about mom? She died in a car accident. Was it because she was unfit to survive."

"Uh...I guess not...she was fit enough.......come to think of it, I don't think evolution can explain why your mother crashed into that Denny's....mabe evolution isn't true after all...? Hey! Wait a minute! You're trying to fool me. Shouldn't you be in bed thinking about all the boyfriends youre going to have when you grow up because you're going to be gay because its okay since you hate god?"

"Dad...calm down Iwant to aske you something,"

"Shoot son. We atheists do love shooting people."

"Isn't it true that God took mom because she masterbated and used up all her eggs?"

<at this point, the father breaks down into tears.>

"Yes son,, It's true! It is, all of it! You were right, you always were! The only reason I told you there wasn't any god was because I was angry at him for letting my parents sexually abuse me!"

"It was Stan who made grandma and grandpa do that to you. Not God."

"I've been so foolish!"

"DOn't worry, Dad. It is never too late to form a lasting and true relationship with god. His son, Jesus Christ, the rider of the Great Cross, died for your sins."

"You're right, son, you're right."

<they hug>

:::End of Diloge:::

I hope you got smoething out of this,. Mabye now you see how weak-rroted and indefensible atheism really is I do fancy myself kind of a writer. I may even turn this into a whole play for my church youth group if my frends like it.

SO Tell me what you think. (Only positive comments, please. thanks.) Write me at divisiontwo@yahoo.com. And check back here on divisiontwo every few days; I am a very profillictic riter and I post at least one new colum a week.


Amanda Whitton

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