Spririt Of Christ Church
- September 3, 1999: Ruthanne Johnson is having a rummage sale at her house. Spirit of Christ Church members are invited to rifle through her things between the hours of 8:00am and 4:00pm. Any pornography, drug paraphernalia or suggestive undergarments should be reported to Father Yuli.
- September 4, 1999: Father Yuli will not be in today.
- September 6, 1999: Spirit of Christ Church welcomes teen guest speaker Rochelle Tritton from 7:00pm to 9:30pm; lecture and discussion for teenage girls and their mothers only. Topic of discussion: "Achieving a second virginity through reconstructive surgery."
- September 10, 1999: Spirit of Christ Back-to-School Bake Sale! Spirit of Christ Church Members are invited to sell baked goods from 3:00pm to 9:30pm at the Hilltop. 3% of the proceeds will go to aid Spirit of Christ Elementary School; the rest will go to Shell Oil, our parent company.
- September 11, 1999: Anyone who found evidence of foreign objects, rocks, needles, or semen in any of the baked goods is asked to report to Father Yuli.
- September 12, 1999: Father Yuli will not be in today.
- September 13, 1999: Spirit of Christ Church Fast Day. To build a greater social conscience regarding world hunger, Spirit of Christ Church members are encouraged to fast today; no food should be eaten except for vegetables, crackers and juice.
- September 15, 1999: Spirit of Christ Church Neighborhood Monitors meeting tonight at 8:00pm in the basement office. Monitors are asked to turn in all the notes they have compiled regarding neighborhood crime, drug use, homosexual acts, and suspected prostitution to Father Yuli.
- September 16, 1999: Father Yuli will not be in today.
- September 19, 1999: Spirit of Christ Men's Group meets at 7:00pm in the basement office. Topic of discussion: "Reprimanding an uncooperative wife."
- September 22, 1999: Spirit of Christ Women's Group meets at 9:00pm in the basement office. Topic of discussion: "Procreation and dishwashing."
- September 23, 1999: Spirit of Christ welcomes guest preacher Father Herbert Simmens. Sermon will deal with removing the homoerotic overtones from depictions of the crucifixion.
- September 24-27, 1999: Christ Camp outing! Spirit of Christ Elementary School children who pass the physical fitness examination are welcomed to spend the weekend with Father Yuli at his cabin upstate. Survival skills, target shooting, creative storytelling, and bedtime activities will be taught and tested.
- September 28, 1999: Spirit of Christ Men's Group meets at 7:00pm in the basement office. Topic of discussion: "Making your home your castle; making your kids your servants; making your dog your jester; making your wife your concubine."
- September 29, 1999: Any Spirit of Christ Church Member who has come across any unsavory bookstores/videostores/nightclubs in the area is asked to submit a complete list to father Yuli.
- September 30, 1999: Father Yuli will not be in today.
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