What's worth watching with the family this season?
September, 1999
two staff writer

The major networks are cleaning up their acts this season by getting rid of minorities and focusing more entertainment on the family. Here are divisiontwo's family viewing recommendations for this week:

- When Food Goes Bad, Wednesday, FOX. "Sour milk; moldy cheese; stale bread; empty bottles of salad dressing; limp lettuce." Fox takes you into the dark recesses of the family refrigerator to show you the hidden terrors contained therein. Watch this one with the lights on.

- Boy Meets World, Friday, ABC. "Swap Meet." A very special episode dealing with an issue that is sadly close to every American family in our modern age; wife-swapping. Recommended for mature audiences.

- Beverly Hills, 90210, Tuesday, FOX. "The Center." The gang helps out at an inner-city youth center. Kelly helps a blind boy find his mother. Steve has to clean the "special bathroom." Brandon and David discuss taking their relationship to the next level.

- The X-Files, Sunday, FOX. "Maybe Xavier." Mulder believes something supernatural may be going on; Scully is skeptical.

- Frasier, Tuesday, NBC. "Wither for Niles." Niles rapes Daphne; Frasier has an annoying coworker.

- The Man Show, Saturday, Comedy Central. "Season Premier." Men dare each other to eat dog feces; Adam Corolla exposes himself at a feminist rally; audience members are given watery beer; heavy-chested girls are forced onto trampolines.

- The Tom Green Show, Thursday, MTV. "Glenn Via Satellite." Tom gives elementary school students dirty buttplugs; people on the street are set on fire; Tom has his parents' genitalia surgically switched; Glenn via satellite.

- Friends, Thursday, NBC. "And Monica Makes Three." Ross and Rachel consider expressing their feelings for one another; Joey gets naked; Monica accidentally mugs a pregnant woman; Chandler loses a condom in his anus.

- Will and Grace, Thursday, NBC. "I'm Gay." Will comes out to Grace; Grace doesn't know if she can deal with Will's supposed-but-never-seen homosexuality. Jack beats up a gay man.

- Everybody Loves Raymond, Monday, ABC. "Jealous." Ray becomes jealous of the attention his wife lavishes on his kids, so he locks them in a car and pushes it into the river; his brother comes to the rescue. Last five minutes show Ray Romano accepting an award from Parents For Quality Television.

- It's Like, You Know, Thursday, ABC. "The Phone." Ground-breaking episode features nothing but a ringing phone for 30 minutes. With Patty LuPone as Tasha.

- Two Guys and a Girl, Friday, ABC. "Drinks." Girl gets drunk and passes out; guys sell her to a gang of horny teenagers for $20.

- Dawson's Creek, Wednesday, WB. "Changes." Dawson developes phantom breasts; Joey insists her vagina can talk.

- Moesha, Monday, UPN. "The Accident." Moesha totals the family car; her father belts her black ass back to the ice age. Oprah Winfrey guest starts as Queen Quemilah.

- The Real World, Tuesday, MTV. "Honolulu" Ruthie gets drunk and vomits on Teck; Justin is annoyed that Amaya and Collin insist on having sex in the kitchen during breakfast; Matt cries; Kaia topless.

- Lifetime Thursday Night Movie, Thursday, Lifetime. "A Taste for Murder." A housewife with an alcoholic son and a depressed daughter suspects that her husband may be killing and eating members of her family, but the police don't believe her because she's a woman. Starring Tina Youthers, directed by Penny Marshall.

- The Screen Savers, Friday, ZDTV. "Computer Tips." Kate tells you how to make Linux run on your WebTV; Leo builds a computer for under $6000; BeOS is put to the test in an elementary school; Patrick Norton warns that some Microsoft software may not live up to the hype; Windows is bashed; Bill Gates piņata; Kate's favorite erotica links.

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