Bush Warns Terrorist Attack Possible at "Some point in the future."

WASHINGTON - President Bush held a press conference on the White House lawn today in which he warned Americans to remain on "Yellow Alert", as another terrorist attack "may be possible at some point in the future", he said.

The President also put Americans on notice that this imminent terrorist attack could happen anywhere, from urban centers to suburban shopping malls to rural mailboxes. He urged Americans to avoid shopping centers, concerts, public festivals and popular websites as they may be ripe for a terrorist attack.

"We don't know where or when the next terrorist attack will occur," the President said, "but we have gathered intelligence that suggests one may occur at an indefinite time in an undetermined place."

Pressed for details, Bush suggested that targets ripe for terrorist attacks could include the Sears Tower in Chicago, the Mall of America in Minneapolis, and Disney World in Orlando. "If the terrorists wanted to make a devastating statement about the evils of American capitalism and truly damage our national psyche, tourist or kid-oriented commercial gatherings in crowded areas such as Disney World would be the perfect place to make such a statement by scoring the biggest number of kills for the least effort," he said. "The sheer numbers of children and upper middle-class families that could be killed by flying two or three hijacked planes into the Magic Kingdom, for example, would make more of an impact on this nation than the 9/11 attacks did. We just hope that the terrorists never think of that."

He also noted that the U.S. is likely to witness a type of terrorist attack in the future that we as a nation have never seen in the past. He warned Americans that terrorists could attach underwater explosives to large bridges such as the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, release deadly anthrax spores into the unprotected air conditioning system of the Cinema 8 movie theater in La Verne, California, or even target Mr. and Mrs. Travis' mailbox in rural Nebraska. He admitted that, "Our intelligence hasn't revealed the exact nature of the next attack yet." 

The President also gave Americans advice on how they can help pull the country out of the recent economic doldrums. In light of a weak economy, rising unemployment and seemingly endless revelations of corporate misconduct, the President urged Americans to stay home, pull their investments out of the stock market, severely limit commodity and entertainment spending, and build bomb shelters while the economy recovers. He recommend Americans spend most of their income paying down credit card debt and bank loans. 

"The quickest way to economic health as a nation is to severely curtail the kind of investing and spending that characterized the booming Clinton years," he said. 

The President concluded his speech to the press by warning that war with Iraq was an "imminent and necessary" response to continuing Palestinian terror attacks on Israeli cities, and would likely begin late this year or early 2003 and end shortly before the elections in November 2004.

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