Fathers and Sons
by Amanda Whitton
I don't have to be meditating alone on the clothes
dryer for a big revelation to come. Smoetimes I get a
pifany or two when I'm lying in bed at night, when I
find myself plaged with an inteminable case of
insomnia -- mom says that's a medical word for groin
itchiness. You know, I'll be tossing, turning,
writhing, and sudenly, it'll just happen. I'm sure
it's hapened to everyone at some point, even if
atheists deny it or call it a hallucinogen. Last
night,, they were coming so fast and furious I
couldn't even stay still...until one shook through me
so hard it knocked me unconsious. I don't have the
time to share all those with you, unfortunatey, but I
want to tell you about the last one. I have no
question in my mind that the reason I've been having
so many pifanys lately is because Gid Has chosen me
to speak through, chosem ME to bring His message to
YOU, Denyers of the TRUTH, that is why he gave me the
gift of well writing,.
I posted my thoughts here in the hope that you would
be matrue enough to receive an opposing viewpoint
with an open mind. But athiests are all so stupid and
petty and deluded I should have known that was
impossible. I cried when I read the hate-filled
responses to my last post...I cried for all of you
who are fooled by Satan, and who continue to sneak
extra orgasms at the expense of yet unconceived
fetusus. THat's potential life! SOme of you are just
too rock-hearted or plain retorded to understann what
I'm trying to save you sverall varstrily messages but
not ONE without what only I can tell you takes
CHANCE, not CHOICE -- the only way it canb be. I
understnad that now. I was about to give up, when I
realized that that was what Stan would want me tto
do, for he is always trying to silence and distort
the word of God. It is like God is the symphany and
Satan in the man carrying on with his grilfriend in
the audience so I can't look at the sumphiony but
instead have to look at them. And Jesus ios the
triangle at the end, the Rider of the Great Cross
completing the trinity. It's no accident,people. It
is very imporant that you DO NOT MISUSE WHAT I TELL
YOU.
Misusiung the words of Jesus Chris can lead to
disaster 9false branches of Christianity for
example.) It happens in the physical world all the
time. Rembmer a few years back when all those women
douched with OK Soda and went sterile, and then Coke
had to take it off the market? It's the same thing.
They were intentionaly misusing a product, and it
lead to some very dry wombs. They ignored the warning
label. And now the millions of us that loved OK can't
have any. So when you misuse Christ's words to spread
hate or false ideas or whatever, you are ruining it
for everybody. DO NOT DOUCHE WITH THE WORDS OF
CHRIST! Anyway, during one of my pifanys, I had an
idea that I think would work well here. I've seen it
done before, and it's been rathere efective. Here,
now I present you with a dialogue between an atheist
dad and his six-year-old son. A dilogue is like two
people talking to each other.
"Daddy, I can't sleep."
"Why not, son? DOn't you feel safe?"
"No daddy, I don't feel safe. I feel like no one
loves me, like no one is looking out for me, and
there will be nothing for me after I die."
"Well, grow up, son. That's the way it is.
Christians are stupid. Only athiests are right
because we don't believe in anything, no matter how
obviously true it is."
"But dadd>, what if there is some t ruth to
what my friendss are saying about Gid and Jesus and
Satan? Would'nt it be logical to approach this issue
from a rational, unbiased, un-jaded point of view,
instead of dismissing it as a ubiquitous matter of
discourse?"
"Christians are stupid son. We are atheists.
Only we are right. And when you get bigger, you'll be
able to hit and presecute Christians like I do."
"I know, daddy, I've seen you. But sometimes I
wonder, is what you do always the right thing? Or are
you just buying into the perceived mediated reality
of what our atheistic society should be?"
"Now son...don't think, be an athiest instead.
Of course what I do is right. I am going to sexually
abuse you now because I decide what is right and
wrong. I have no book of rules telling me how dto
behave, so I am free to decide for myself. Take off
your clothes."
"A-ha! Now I've cought you in a logical fallacy!
You've said there's no such thing as right and wrong.
How can there be if there's no god, no eternal life
beyond? No heaven, no hell?"
"Uh.."
"And what about AIDS?"
"Many types of people get aids."
"Heterosexuals too,."
"NOt just gay people, like you told me. But lots
of people are getting it now. GOod Christians."
"I know, son. it's sad."
"I've got you again!," said the sun,
"how can there be such a thing as good and bad
without a God? What is good and bad is set fourth for
us in the Blible."
"If there were no god, humans could not have
emotions, becuase we wouldn't even knwo what thery
are!"
"SOn, evolution flavores survival of the
fittest. Un-fit people die. Now go watch Ellen,
because she spits in God's face."
"No, dad. Ellen is evil. And Disney is evil for
shoving her anti-family message down our
throats."
"What about mom? She died in a car accident. Was
it because she was unfit to survive."
"Uh...I guess not...she was fit
enough.......come to think of it, I don't think
evolution can explain why your mother crashed into
that Denny's....mabe evolution isn't true after
all...? Hey! Wait a minute! You're trying to fool me.
Shouldn't you be in bed thinking about all the
boyfriends youre going to have when you grow up
because you're going to be gay because its okay since
you hate god?"
"Dad...calm down Iwant to aske you
something,"
"Shoot son. We atheists do love shooting
people."
"Isn't it true that God took mom because she
masterbated and used up all her eggs?"
<at this point, the father breaks down into
tears.>
"Yes son,, It's true! It is, all of it! You were
right, you always were! The only reason I told you
there wasn't any god was because I was angry at him
for letting my parents sexually abuse me!"
"It was Stan who made grandma and grandpa do
that to you. Not God."
"I've been so foolish!"
"DOn't worry, Dad. It is never too late to form
a lasting and true relationship with god. His son,
Jesus Christ, the rider of the Great Cross, died for
your sins."
"You're right, son, you're right."
<they hug>
:::End of Diloge:::
I hope you got smoething out of this,. Mabye now you
see how weak-rroted and indefensible atheism really
is I do fancy myself kind of a writer. I may even
turn this into a whole play for my church youth group
if my frends like it.
SO Tell me what you think. (Only positive comments,
please. thanks.) Write me at divisiontwo@yahoo.com.
And check back here on divisiontwo every few days; I am a
very profillictic riter and I post at least one new
colum a week.
Sincretely,
Amanda Whitton
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