A Guy's View
By Brad J.
September 9, 1999
This is my first column for the new divisiontwo website. My name is Brad J. Thompson, and I'm a Junior at Mount Sebastian High School in Oregon. I was asked to write a weekly column telling you what guys think. OK. I'm a guy, I know what I think, and I can type, so hey, here goes. The Powers That Be at divisiontwo wanted me to start out the season with a simple column of what I like, from a guy's perspective. I think I've put together a list that can speak for most of the guys I know.
- I like dreaming about raping a stuck up girl in the dark, pulling a knife on her, forcing her to suck my dick and fucking her till she bleeds.
- I like getting cunts drunk at parties and fucking them bareback.
- I like riding in my man Dave's car on Saturday nights, taking my aluminum bat and playing "Mexican Baseball" as we drive past spics in junkytown.
- I like walking around the neighborhood at night, looking for unlocked cars or cars with the windows cracked open and pissing inside them.
- I like pissing on people's cushy lawn furniture at night.
- I like walking around with my friends and pissing in little kids' wading pools at night.
- I like jerking off in the shower before school.
- I like jerking off into a sandwich and giving it to someone at school.
- I like jerking off in the bathroom during study hall, leaving my cream on the seat.
- I like getting drunk and driving 100mph in the dark without my lights on.
- I like pissing on the toilet paper roles in classy department store bathrooms.
- I like pissing in the sink in other people's houses.
- I like throwing rocks at cars off the overpass.
- I like building pipe bombs and putting them in mailboxes.
- I like catching squirrels and putting them in the microwave.
- I like when Dave and I pick out some guy and beat the shit out of him for no reason.
- I like getting drunk and puking on somebody's couch.
- I like putting rocks through windows.
- I like having two or three girlfriends at the same time.
- I like watching WWF Smackdown.
- I like going to church and worshipping Jesus.
- I like being real.
There, that's a guy in a nutshell. But divisiontwo isn't supposed to just be about me or Armelda or Chas or Butch, it's supposed to be about you, too. So guys, tell me what you like or what you'd like to see me write about. Send me some email at divisiontwo@yahoo.com.
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divisiontwo wholeheartedly supports the views expressed in this column.