You see her count every gram. She burns all your teaspoons. Her bedding is crusty to the touch. There are always strangers on top of her. There's jizz all over the room. You know there's nothing she won't screw. You are losing her to a pimp. You think she might be a crack whore.

It's time to talk about it!

Please, if you think your foreign friend or roommate might be a crack whore, call the INS and get her deported back to where she came from immediately. Because for every guy she screws, one licensed American crack whore sleeps alone and goes without crack. Think about it.

Brought to you by the American Association for Crack Whore Licensing courtesy of www.divisiontwo.com.

Notice: this site (Division Two magazine) was restored from its original location by Shlomi Fish, as he found it amusing. He hosts it on his domain and maintains information about it on his home site. Shlomi Fish is not responsible for its contents of divisiontwo.shlomifish.org.